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Friday, May 28, 2010

Slipping again... Right when I think I'm doing better, I hit rock bottom all over again. Why do I continue to punish myself? I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Days feel like years when I'm all...

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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Waking up without you, it doesn't feel right To sleep with only memories is harder every night And sometimes I think I can feel you Breathing on my neck Tonight, I'm reaching out to the stars It...

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

More than nine months later and your tombstone still isn't erected my dear. Tell me where to sign up to get into this lucrative funeral business because they get paid so much to sit around and dilly...

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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

It's tormenting to see your name on google chat, knowing I will never receive another instant message from you again. Although no matter how much it breaks my heart, I can't imagine ever deleting you...

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Dreams

Why can't I shake these haunting and merciless dreams? I think my subconscious mind is aware of the impending date. Has it been that long already? It's either that or because I watched Inception last...

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1 Year Later

A year ago today, you were taken from me. You left this lonely world of mine and I haven't been the same since. I visited 28 cities in 14 countries over the last year in hopes of letting you go. Though...

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The long road to California

Left everything behind me, Searching for the strength I have inside me, Left you behind so lonely, Praying for the day that you would somehow find me. I'm driving down the highwayCold and dark, dead...

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Holidays

I really hate the holidays because of you. There will be nothing joyous about Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's. Co-workers are already playing Christmas tunes in the office, which just enforces...

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New Year. New Life.

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find meleave the past behind me, today my life beginsA whole new world is waiting, it's mine for the takingI know I can make it, today my life begins

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2 Years Later

Sunday marks the second anniversary of your passing. I’ve returned to visit because I know how important it was to you—to follow the familial traditions of post-funeral rites. There was the first 49...

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I am not an easy person to love. Maybe I am destined for loneliness...

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Wednesday, March 07, 2012

You would have loved who I used to be,Yesterday I would have hated the boy you seeWhen you found me I was at my worstThe best I was is a long forgotten curse.You caught me on the way downPlease hold my...

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Sunday, March 25, 2012

Tomorrow is your birthday. You would have been 29 years old. I wish I was back home to spend it with you at the cemetery. I promise to visit a temple today instead because that's the only other...

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My last entry to you

Tomorrow is your birthday. You would have been 29 years old. I wish I was back home to spend it with you at the cemetery. I promise to visit a temple today instead because that's the only other...

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To my other love..

We both know that I shouldn't be here This is wrong And baby it's killing me, it's killing you Both of us trying to be strong I've got somewhere else to be Promises to keep Someone else who loves me...

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

It's been a month since I was admitted to the ER due to feelings of hysteria. I felt like nothing was getting better for me--as if I was in the same place when I first moved to California. I couldn't...

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Monday, July 30, 2012

Settle down, it'll all be clearDon't pay no mind to the demonsThey fill you with fearThe trouble it might drag you downIf you get lost, you can always be found

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Here I go again on my own..

I am not an easy person to love. Maybe I am destined for loneliness...

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Anberlin - Down

You would have loved who I used to be,Yesterday I would have hated the boy you seeWhen you found me I was at my worstThe best I was is a long forgotten curse.You caught me on the way downPlease hold my...

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Mental Illness

It's been a month since I was admitted to the ER due to feelings of hysteria. I felt like nothing was getting better for me--as if I was in the same place when I first moved to California. I couldn't...

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